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♥Copyrighted 2009
http://shadows-of-silence.blogspot.com/
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finally the matter's at rest. after close to 1 term? -huge sigh of relief- haha maybe just a ~~short~~ reflection.
i guess i can say i learnt quite a lot through this (why do i feel i've gained more than i do in a chem lesson? XD). and i'm rather glad that i've seem to grown in my thinking and attitude towards people? don't really know how to phrase it, but in plain words, i guess you could say i've grown more mature.
ok maybe use jack's words:
"well, after we experience these kind of things and when everything sort of comes to a close, we will feel that we have grown" ~ Jack
i guess, honestly, then, i was really quite sensitive and (how do you say it?) didn't want to "lose face". like even after receiving apologies, i still didn't want to accept them so quickly. i think this is probably one of my worst faults, but well, its gonna change :)
i reflected a lot for this incident and i have to say, i really garnered a lot, and i just have to say this: friendship is precious. treasure it.
yea. and i was thinking that we don't get to be in the same class for 2 years for nothing. this 2 years is for us to get to know new friends, establish new bonds, interact with them, strengthen the bonds and eventually after we leave, these bonds will serve as the only real leftover evidence that we had spent 2 years together, and these 2 years will be the only anchor which can prolong your friendship even past the 2 years, 5 years into the future, 10 years into the future etc. definitely, during these 2 years, there's bound to be conflicts between you and some of your classmates, but first tell yourself: Why continue with the conflict when your have only less than 2 years left? will you really be satisfied, if at the end of the 2 years, both of your are still at loggerheads? what will come to your mind when you think back?
those who have resolved conflicts with their peers before should know that it feels so much better and it feels as though an intangible bond of friendship seems to become more solid and stronger, and from then, you can grab on to this fragile but still solid bond and it will eventually get stronger and stronger as time passes.
and it just sucks when you're not on good terms with a peer, and it just bugs you like mad. trust me, it sux. so why close the door on yourself and shut yourself out when you can easily get outside under the bright sun and enjoy the warmth? actually realistically, in the future when you leave the comfort zones of the school, who is actually there for you? when you desperately need help or need some serious support, who will actually be there for you? there won't be any teacher or any guardian who will help you out, just like in schools. so that's where your friends come in. of course, i'm not forgetting our families too, but realistically speaking, your parents are older than you (and not counting your siblings), your friends are probably the ones who will follow you through your life, from even before kindergarten all the way to the day you leave this world! look, even parents don't follow you for the whole of your life.

so i just want to tell this to those people who are still in conflicts with your classmates etc:
go and resolve it. no point mulling over it all day and being too egoistic to even say a simple "sorry". avoiding isnt the solution. like what i said, so what if you can avoid each other for the whole of 2 years? will you be proud of this feat? or would you rather be proud of having been good friends with that person for 2 years? and it takes both sides to patch up. one side acting won't do it. don't expect the other person to come and apologise or talk to you (even if he IS really the one at fault), ask yourself, maybe that person is afraid to talk to you? and even if you're angry at him, you should at least give him a chance to say sorry to you, because saying sorry is never easy. why not just losing a bit of face and sacrificing a bit of time to try talking to that person? if you do, that person will probably not remember you "losing face" but instead remember the fact that you treasured the friendship and wanted to patch up. and that's what strengthens the friendship bond too.
mayb something as simple as "i'm sorry, i know i'm at fault too, can we patch up?" would work, the difficult part is just to say it. maybe if you remind yourself that both of you have less than 2 years left, you'll realise that you'd want to solve the problem. at least for me, i told myself i didn't want to make the same mistake that i did 2 years ago. don't be afraid of the person disliking you, no one can dislike you forever. and that person probably wants to patch up too, even though he does not show it.

though one term has been such a long long time, and it really IS a lot (that's 1/8 of the time you get to spend together with your friends), i still dont think its all that wasted. even though for nearly a whole term, i haven't been on good terms with someone, i still dont think the time was wasted. at least i learnt a lot and i know i'm not going to make this kind of mistakes anymore. AND after all, it's all ok now! i'm really really glad that it worked out. yea, my vocab isnt that good and i'm not going to search the thesaurus for more synonyms of happy. at least now i know we're probably even better friends, now that we've resolved our conflict. and i know by the end of 2009, when we leave the class, i won't leave the class with regrets and i will be glad that i had patched up with him. so, from now on, no more emo posts!! (there you go ervin!) haha :P

actually wrote this post to thank some people, but i got carried away and reflected a lot, but here's the list of ppl i have to thank (no particular order):

jack - for his quote lol, kidding. erm, his patience and he helped me a lot.
jim - erm patience too, willing to listen to me
haozhi - for his help of course! thx a bunch
ryoji, alvin, wu, giff and benjamin - for giving me advice, esp. benjamin for making me see that i was at fault too
hiok for listening to me and his advice (though he told me stuff like "must pay back! he dao you then you must dao him back!" )
ben nah - for expressing concern and helping me even though i didnt ask him to
dom - for the same reason as ben nah! and he was rather daring lol
teng chuan and roy - for dunno how they found out about this and then expressed concern
and ben chin! - i really owe him one, thank you so much!
and lol, this one must put as the last one, because without him, this wouldnt have happened - parry tan, for being willing to patch up :)

so we're cool, huh? good friends from now on :)

Music changes everything<'3
Rock rock rock :D